


in this house of mine

by ZionPhoenix



Series: Domestic Immortals and their Shenanigans [5]
Category: The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
Genre: Crack Fic, Swearing, in a way i guess, only a little
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-18
Updated: 2020-08-18
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:09:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25981123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZionPhoenix/pseuds/ZionPhoenix
Summary: No paths are close enough for someone to overhear the absolute chaos going on inside.ORThe team goes to the beach.
Series: Domestic Immortals and their Shenanigans [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1863277
Comments: 18
Kudos: 264





	in this house of mine

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to try a new style, so this is almost exclusively dialogue. Constructive criticism is more than welcome.
> 
> I come from a chaotic family of 5, and over the weekend I visited my aunt and uncle - and even more chaotic family of also 5. This is just how it is.
> 
> Enjoy!

They're on down time after a particularly hard mission (read: it went tits-up 5 minutes in, although it was supposed to be a quick and easy one), and laying low in a safe house, an actual house this time, in Spain, just a few hundred metres away from the beach. The house was secluded, and nestled at the edge of a small forest that was popular with runners and joggers, however no paths are close enough for someone to overhear the absolute chaos, spoken in at least 4 different languages, going on inside.

"Has anyone seen my phone?" A door slams somewhere.

"I don't know, where did you last put it?"

"Living room, but it isn't there!"

"Check again! Andy did you pack the towels?"

"Sure!"

"Liar. Pack them already!"

"Nicky, have you seen my other shoe?" Heavy footsteps run down a flight of stairs.

"No. Check under the bed. Nile, where did you put my trunks?"

"I didn't put them anywhere, check your drawer!"

"Joe, check the drawer for my trunks please. Did someone pack food?"

A chorus of "No." rings throughout the house.

"No complaining about what I pack then."

"Do we need sunscreen?"

"Nile, we have super healing."

"But Andy doesn't! Can she get sunburned now?"

"I don't know, we'll buy some on our next trip into town. Who hid my blue button-down?"

"I didn't. Food is packed! Andy, the towels?"

"I didn't either, check the laundry, Joe."

"Towels are on the way."

"Took you long enough, boss."

"Shut up, Joe! Everybody ready to move?"

"I'm still missing my trunks! Joe, did you check the drawer?"

"Just a sec, I need to pee before we leave." More doors banging open and shut.

"I did, they weren't there. Just swim naked."

"Oh, like hell he will! Nicky, I forbid you to swim naked."

"Copy that, boss." For half a minute, it's quiet.

"Ah, found them."

"Where were they? And where the fuck is my button-down?"

"Just put on another shirt, Joe."

"Guess what, Joe, they were in the fucking drawer!"

"Huh, I didn't see them when I checked it."

"Joe, you liar. You just wanted Nicky to swim naked." Someone is running up to the first floor.

"None of you have proof."

"Is everybody done now?"

"Yes, boss."

"Ye- wait, did someone pack any food?"

"I packed it 5 fucking minutes ago! Does noone ever listen in this house?"

"Alright, let's move it. Everybody out now, no more bathroom trips and no more looking for clothes, we're leaving!"

The words "Yes, boss." echo through the hall behind the front door, right as it opens.

"Beach time!" Joe yells and bolts outside, the other three right behind him, laughing.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading.
> 
> Kudos and comments are highly appreciated, I always love to see what you think.


End file.
